"Drew Carey on Tailhook"

How many militant feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, and one to kiss my ass. That's right. I said kiss my ass. 'Cause I've had it. I'm tired of being pushed around. Tired of being grouped in with all the dead-beat dads and rapists and lecherous bosses just because I'm a man. All men aren't "potential rapists." I'm not a potential rapist.

But, I am a potential murderer if all of you don't shut up and get out of my face already. You've ruined it for everybody. Everybody, do you hear me? Men, women -- everybody.

Because of you and everyone else in this society that needs to play political victim and go to court instead of just dealing with it themselves, no one can have any kind of fun anymore. Men and women can't flirt, or hug, or look at anyone sideways because of you and your lawyers.

Are you happy? You've used a stink bomb to kill a few ants. And while I'm at it... Naval Aviators, who are willing to die so that we can have low prices at the gas pump, should be able to throw the wildest parties they can manage without one uptight biddy coming in and stopping it. There were scads of women at that Tailhook party who were having the time of their lives, voluntarily being just as debauched as any of the men were.

Everyone who flew a plane, or even knew someone who flew a plane, knew how wild those parties were and what went on. What did she expect? A prayer service?

And why didn't she just throw some punches of her own when these couple of guys groped her? Why didn't she give them what they had coming and just kick them in the balls? Didn't our tax money go to teach her how to fight?

I'm not trying to make the idiotic "she had it coming" argument here, which would go something like "of course they grabbed her breasts, look how big they are."

Plus, just reaching out and grabbing some boob is wrong no matter what. When I was in college, even at our most drunken fraternity parties we never acted like that. No matter how hard I try I can't think of an excuse good enough to do something like that. But it's still nothing to lose a career over.

Besides, fighter pilots are supposed to be aggressive assholes. That's what we pay them for. I don't know about you, but I don't want a navy full of fighter pilots who are gifted at giving sensitivity seminars. I want mad-dog, rabid killers going to battle for me and mine. Man or woman.

When our stable gas prices are threatened by a Middle-Eastern Madman, when we want to force our form of government on some poor, unsuspecting Latin American country, when uppity foreign diplomats "forget" to pay their parking tickets, I want to be able to call on men and women who like to fight and drink. I want a naval officer who knows how to whack some drunk in the balls when he grabs her tits, not call a press conference, and a lawyer. If you're a wimp who doesn't know how to find the exit at a rowdy party, go fly a kite, not a jet fighter.

-- So there.


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