For those of you who are regular Droppings readers, hang on, this may be the most controversial yet. Remember, even if you think I'm nuts, at least I got you thinking.

   Last week, I sat down to watch a episode of Ellen. Wanted to see if I could get thru it without throwing up. Well, I made it, but it's hard to imagine a TV showing rubbing me more the wrong way than that one. For those of you out of the loop, the shows star Ellen DeGeneres recently "came out of the closet", both in real life, and as her TV character. So, now the show has taken a twist to "gay romantic comedy". This also qualifies it for a "parental guidance" warning at the shows opening.

   OK, lts get into it. The general argument from the gay/lesbian community is something to the effect of "This is the way we are, we can't help it. That's our sexual orientation for whatever reason, and we have the right to be this way".

   OK. Fine. As far as I'm concerned, it's a sexual abberation. It's out of the norm. To me, it goes against nature. But, OK, lets take that argument all the way. How long before we'll be watching situation comedies about a man and his sheep? A woman and her German Shepherd. If that's their particular sexual orientation or turn on, then so be it. They can't help it. That's the way they are. Society has forced homosexuality upon us, based on the "that's the way they are" theory. How long before every other sexual abberation claims their rights as well. Think about it. Marriges between people and animals. Now, there will be a few tough ones. Look at Jeffery Dahmer. Gay, and he preferred them dead and dismembered. It just happened to be HIS particular sexual abberation. Now, unfortulately because of societies hangups, he had to kidnap and kill to meet his needs. Now, if there were, say a necropheliac donor program, his needs could have been met with no harm to anyone. Donors could simply carry cards indicating that their bodies be given to someone on the list (registered, of course), to meet their particular sexual needs upon their death. Simple. No more wild murders. These people would have their needs met by society. Bondage is your thing? OK, so, go shopping in your leather and handcuffs, led by a neck chain held by your master. No one would give you a second look, because in the new era of sexual rights, you'd fit right in.

   OK, one tough one would be pedophiles. It's pretty tough to turn over your kids to a "sex maniac". However, if that person's sexual needs call for a young person, why can't it be in a loving, trusting relationship? it's the closed minds of society today that makes them "sex maniacs" or "perverts". If a 48 year old man falls in love with a 10 year old, (sure, typing this makes me wretch, but I'm making a point), so be it. If the feeling is mutual, there is no abuse. It's a relationship between to human beings of vastly differing ages, but still, if their needs are met through an open minded, caring society, we'd put an end to pedophiles having to kidnap, rape, and kill the youngster, because it would be legal for them to have an open, honest relationship. To Young? I hear you scream! Well, back in the 40's and 50's, it was not unusual for people to get married in their early teens, even younger. Especially in southern USA. Remember, Jerry Lee Lewis, who married is 14 year old second cousin! Sure, it was a scandal only because he was a public figure, if you check the records, you find that was not that uncommon. Youngest couple to have children of their own. Age 8 & 9. Kids under age 10 were often royalty in the 18th century. If they could run a nation, they could run a relationship. Society is forcing people of alternate sexual choices to become criminals to meet their own specific needs.

   Almost all sex crimes are crimes just because the public has not yet been enlightened to meeting these other needs. It was not that many years ago that a homosexual relationship was punnishable by law. That it was considered a crime. Now, not only do they have their rights, but they can command preferential treatment because of their orientation!

   If I like to go to work in a cheerleaders uniform, who's to stop me? It's my turn on. I have my rights. Sure, I hear you scream: "geees, you may have your rights, but you have no right to carry them out in public!" Oh Yeah? Try to tell any heterosexual that they can't enjoy looking and lusting after the opposite sex when they're out in public. Hey, how do you know that guy at the latte' stand isn't sizing up YOUR cute tush, mister?

   This brings up the move toward a generic society. We'll have to eliminate his and her locker rooms at the health club. No more his and hers bathrooms. What with the new standard in sexual rights, so many men will be women, men will like men, women liking women, it won't make any difference. Hey, right now, how do you know that guy at the urinal next to you isn't thinking...well..you know what he might be thinking. Maybe you'd be better off sharing that locker room with the dyke who's checking out the babes in her own locker room?!?!

   The new Generic Society will also, unfortunatly mean the end to humor as we know it. Go ahead, try to think of any joke that isn't offensive to somebody. Why did the chicken cross the road? Nope. It offends the guy who is dating the chicken. No more gay, ethnic, blonde or jewish jokes. No more salesmen, farmer, or housewife jokes. No more redneck jokes. In the new Generic Society everyone is even. No one is better than anyone else, and everyone must respect everybody. We won't laugh much anymore, but at least we can walk down the street with our aardvaark in a girlscout uniform, with whom we're deeply in love. Every single person, of any posible catagory will be even. Everyone will have equal rights. Can't discriminate against anyone, for anything. Just think, everyone willl qualify for a job, because you won't even be able to discriminate against the stupid anymore either.

   Take a moment right now, and imagine the conversations going on at the next cocktail party. Can't tell any jokes, but everyone will have their particular sexual abberation, kink, or preference out in the open.

   "Oh, Hi Tom. I see you're still dating that cockatoo."

   "Yeah, Biff, and I see you still get your kicks urniating on house plants. Watch out for that fern over there..."

   Ah yes. Someday, it'll be equal rights for EVERYONE!

Disclaimer: It's my dime, and you didn't have to stick around.